Good food, better company

UNION, Mo. – You’ve probably heard the phrase “you are what you eat.” It’s a reminder to be mindful of the foods we eat, including their nutritional value and physical effect on our bodies.

We know that eating to meet our nutritional needs promotes physical wellness. But consuming a meal should focus not just on the nutritional value but also the social and emotional value. Maybe we need to start using the phrase “we are who we eat with.”

For thousands of years, people have come together to share meals. Early humans found more success when hunting and gathering in groups and, in turn, enjoyed greater security when preparing and consuming their harvest together. The custom of communal eating is spread across time and cultures, but in some places it is dwindling in popularity.

According to the 2025 World Happiness Report, the optimal number of lunches and dinners eaten with others in one week is 13. In the United States, people only share 7.9 meals together in a week. Nearly one-third of Americans dine alone, a 10% increase over the last two decades. People under 30 make up the most of that increase.

Research has shown that eating with others more frequently was associated with higher life satisfaction and a larger support system of friends. It can also boost self-confidence, happiness and our connection to our community. Think about ways you can share your mealtimes with others. Need some ideas? Here are some suggestions.

Ideas to boost human connection through food

Plan to share at least one meal together a day. Start off small to build the habit of eating with others. We know mealtime routines look different person to person and day to day; if you meal plan during the week, consider incorporating this into your schedule.

Prepare a recipe that is important to you and share it with others. Is there a dish that has been passed down in your family through generations or prepared for special occasions? Did you find a new recipe that helps you connect to your heritage? Maybe it’s time to re-create the first meal you shared with your significant other?

Invite people you care about to a local restaurant to share a meal. You not only get to build connections with your family and friends, but you also support a small business in your community.

Use food as a way to travel. Are you dreaming of summertime in Greece? Maybe it’s time to try making homemade baklava. Wishing you could be a part of Oktoberfest in Germany? Cook up some bratwurst with a side of sauerkraut, red cabbage or spätzle. Wherever your mind takes you, prepare a dish related to the area and invite others to “travel” with you.

Remove distractions when sharing meals with others. Things like using cellphones, watching TV or engaging in other tasks can get in the way of our social connections during mealtimes. Use mealtimes to have meaningful conversations with others.

Coordinate a weekly office lunch. This could be at a local restaurant, or everyone can bring their own lunch and gather in the breakroom. Check in with one another on how everyone is doing professionally and personally, if they are comfortable sharing.

Consider upcoming holidays or special occasions. How can special times be an opportunity to share meals with others and build deeper social connections? Honor old traditions or create new ones with those closest to you.

Organize a virtual cook-along. This can be a great way to connect with those you are not able to meet in person. Pick a recipe you both enjoy, get all the ingredients and schedule a time for a video call so you can cook “together.”

Adapted from We Are Who We Eat With: Food, Distinction, and Commensality (MIT Press), 25% of Young Americans Aged 18-24 Eat Every Meal Alone (CNBC), Why Humans Feel the Need To Feast Together (BBC), Sharing Meals With Others (World Happiness Report), Social Eating Connects Communities (University of Oxford).

Maria Calvert is an University of Missouri Extension field specialist in human development and family science. Based in Franklin County, she also serves the counties of Crawford, Gasconade, Lincoln, Montgomery, St. Francois, Ste. Genevieve, Warren and Washington.