5 ways to say no to stress

COLUMBIA, Mo. – No.

It’s a tiny word that can make a big difference, says University of Missouri Extension assistant professor Karen Funkenbusch.

Yes.

It’s another little word, one that causes stress, burnout and exhaustion.

Learn when to say “no” and when to say “yes,” says Funkenbusch.

First Lady Nancy Reagan championed the slogan “Just Say No” in an antidrug campaign. If it were only that easy, there would be a lot less stress and pressure in the world, says Funkenbusch. But it’s tough to say no, especially if you’re a kind person.

Saying yes is a learned response for many people. From an early age, we’re taught that saying “yes” is the right thing to do, whether at work, home or in the community.

Saying no makes us uncomfortable, and most of us fear rejection. But boundaries can reduce stress and create room for family, friends and hobbies that are enjoyable, she says.

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Most farm family members are kind – the backbone of the community, the first to offer their time, talent and money to any cause. They’re the perfect volunteers: dependable, have a good work ethic and bring casseroles, tools and equipment. And they’re likely exhausted.

“Certainly, we need community volunteers and coworkers who have a willingness to share the load,” says Funkenbusch. “But there are times we need to take care of our own health by respectfully declining. Sometimes we need to shelve our guilt and put a protective shell around our physical and mental health.”

Doing so gives us time to refresh and reenergize, says Funkenbusch.

Here are five ways to “just say no” to others and “yes” to yourself:

1. Be direct. Don’t give mixed signals.
2. Be respectful and kind, always, but be firm. Try saying, “Thanks for thinking of me” or “I’d love to, but I have other commitments.”
3. Don’t feel that you must justify your answer. Sometimes your mom was right. “Well, just because.”
4. Don’t say yes if it drains you or exhausts you. Take care of you first. As you’ve likely heard, you must take care of yourself to take care of others, Funkenbusch says.
5. Say no to the request, not the person.

Funkenbusch and MU Extension offer more resources to strengthen your mental health at Show-Me Strong Farm Families.