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Southwest Region News Service uses University of Missouri Extension faculty from southwest Missouri to inform the public of programs and issues impacting our communities, families, farms, homes and businesses. Subscribe now and receive a free weekly e-mail of news specific to southwest Missouri.

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Contact: David Burton, civic communication specialist
Headquartered in Greene County
Tel: (417) 862-9284
E-mail: burtond@missouri.edu

ParentLink, a program of University of Missouri Extension, exists to provide information to help Missouri's parents provide safe, healthy and nurturing environments for their children. Some of this information can be especially helpful following the recent outbreak of severe weather and damaging tornadoes in southwest Missouri.

"We receive calls from parents and professionals, some who are not looking for specific information but who want help problem solving or need a supportive conversation," said Sandi Lillard, coordinator of parent services for ParentLink.

Questions about food likes and dislikes, toilet training, language development, sharing, biting and jealousy are of interest to parents of toddlers. Parents of elementary ages ask about bedtime and sleeping, how to know when a child is old enough to stay home alone and how to help children understand money.

ParentLink has answers for parents and others who work with teens. ParentLink can help parents determine how to stay a part of the teen's life even when the teen tests the parents' limits.

Professionals staff the ParentLink. The phone service, which is administered through University of Missouri Extension 4-H youth development programs, handles up to 3,000 calls annually.

Call ParentLink, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m., at 1-800-552-8522. Callers requesting information after hours can leave their name, phone number and address and request resources or help. ParentLink staff will return calls the following day or mail information packets as appropriate. Information is available online at http://outreach.missouri.edu/parentlink.
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Contact: Jinny Hopp, human development specialist
Headquartered in Jasper County
Tel: (417) 358-2158
E-mail: hoppv@missouri.edu

People who have suffered losses during the recent storms will experience stress.

The loss may be as great as a person, a home or a familiar place, or as minor as a change of routine or even a favorite tree. Any of these losses can create stress according to Jinny Hopp, human development specialist, University of Missouri Extension.

"Humans enjoy change that we control and resist change that we do not control," said Hopp.

The recent storms changed peoples' lives in a few seconds. As people react to these changes they may not sleep well, may not want to eat, they may be angry with everyone, or may avoid other people and activity according to Hopp.

There are some things people can do to reduce the stress they are feeling after the storms.

For example, helpful steps that Hopp recommends include focusing on what is important to your family, delegating some responsibilities to others and keeping a sense of humor.

"It is also important to invest in your health. Establish a daily routine, eat well, and sleep enough hours," said Hopp.

According to research, stress can be reduced if you first accept disappointments, grieve your losses and then begin to move forward. It is also stress reducing to accept outside help by taking advantage of emergency response assistance.

"Reduce tension with organization by doing one thing at a time, breaking a demanding project into manageable steps and keeping track of your commitments. It is also important to live in the present and to not dwell on the past or worry about the future," said Hopp.

Other stress reducing ideas include letting go of anger in healthy ways (such as physical motion) and celebrating accomplishments as you get back to normal.

For more information on reducing stress, contact the University of Missouri Extension center nearest you and ask for guide sheet 6651, "Challenges and Choices: Stress Management." The complete guide sheet is available on line at http://muextension.missouri.edu/explore.

University of Missouri Extension improves people's lives with education and research from the four campuses of the University of Missouri System and Lincoln University that focuses on high-priority needs of people throughout the state. Each county extension center, with oversight by locally elected and appointed citizens, is your local link to these unbiased resources.
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Contact: Jinny Hopp, human development specialist
Headquartered in Jasper County
Tel: (417) 358-2158
E-mail: hoppv@missouri.edu

Humans grieve when they lose people, things or familiar conditions according to Jinny Hopp, human development specialist, University of Missouri Extension.

However, each of us has different reactions depending on who we are, how much life experience we have, what we have lost, and how much our day-to-day life is altered by the loss.

"Just as each person is unique, grief is unique in its impact, course and meaning to each of us. Initial reactions include shock and denial. Many people feel depressed, empty, afraid or angry. All these feelings are normal," said Hopp.

It is important to recognize and deal with the emotions of loss in order to move forward.

"Sometimes people just need a good listener to hear them through their pain. Good listening means that you do not take their problem from them, but allow them to deal with it in their own way," said Hopp.

When listening to another work through their problem do not offer advice. Instead, Hopp recommends letting the person talk it out.

"If this does not help your family member deal with the depression, anger or fear, then professional help is needed," said Hopp.

Some danger signals to watch for in people who have suffered loss include: an extended period of depression in which the person loses interest in daily activities; inability to sleep; loss of appetite; prolonged fear of being alone; repeated statements of wanting to join a loved one who died; or withdrawal from family, friends, or work.

Counseling resources are available in the communities affected by the storms. Professional "listeners" are always on hand via hospice, faith based groups, medical personnel, school counselors, or social agencies in communities.

"If a grieving person refuses to accept help, the best strategy may be to encourage them to visit a family physician that can assess both physical and emotional well-being. The grief that people are feeling is real. It must be recognized and felt before people can resume their regular lives after the storms have passed," said Hopp.

For more information or publications on disaster related topics dealing with issues important to the home, family or farm, contact the University of Missouri Extension Center nearest you, visit extension's disaster information online at http://outreach.missouri.edu or go online to http://muextension.missouri.edu/explore and search available extension guide sheets.

Contact: Jinny Hopp, human development specialist
Headquartered in Jasper County
Tel: (417) 358-2158
E-mail: hoppv@missouri.edu

Research at the University of Missouri indicates it is normal for children to be afraid, especially after a natural disaster according to Jinny Hopp, human development specialist, University of Missouri Extension.

"The fear may last for an extended time and is best handled with kindness and understanding from parents and other adults. Children should be encouraged to talk about their feelings and express their fears through play, drawing, painting or play dough," said Hopp.

Children's fears vary according to age, maturation and previous learning experiences according to available research. Four major fears common in children are death, darkness, animals and abandonment.

"Children's fears may be intensified when adults refuse or are reluctant to discuss them with children. Many families ban all painful topics from family conversation. Such strategies inflict high costs in terms of intensified despair and negativity among children," said Hopp.

To help children cope with fears, adults must take the time to talk with children.

· Be afraid of the disaster recurring. They may ask many times, "Will it come again?"

· Be afraid to be left alone or be afraid to sleep alone. Children may want to sleep with a parent or another person. They may have nightmares.

· Behave as they did when younger. They may start sucking their thumb, wetting the bed, asking for a bottle, wanting to be held.

· Have symptoms of illness such as nausea, vomiting, headaches, not wanting to eat, running a fever.

· Be quiet and withdrawn, not wanting to talk about the experience, become upset easily, crying and whining frequently.

· Feel neglected by parents who are busy trying to clean up and rebuild their lives and homes.

· Refuse to go to school or to child care arrangements. The child may not want to be out of the parent's sight.

· Not show any outward sign of being upset. Some children may never show distress because they do not feel upset. Other children may not give evidence of being upset until several weeks or months later.

For more information or publications on disaster related topics dealing with issues important to the home, family or farm, contact the University of Missouri Extension Center nearest you or go online to http://muextension.missouri.edu/explore and search available extension guide sheets.

Contact: Jinny Hopp, human development specialist
Headquartered in Jasper County
Tel: (417) 358-2158
E-mail: hoppv@missouri.edu

Because of the tornadoes and severe weather that swept through southwest Missouri on May 4 (and some since), many young children are feeling uneasy at the slightest wind or clap of thunder.

University of Missouri Extension Human Development Specialist Jinny Hopp, who is located in Carthage, Mo., says there are some things to consider when helping children cope with their feelings.

· Talk with your child, providing simple, accurate information to their questions.

· Listen to what your child says and how your child says it. Is there fear, anxiety, and insecurity? Repeating the child's words may be very helpful, such as "You are afraid that..." or "You wonder if the storm will come again tonight." This helps both you and the child clarify feelings.

· Reassure your child, "We are together. We care about you. We will take care of you."

· You may need to repeat information and reassurances many times. Do not stop responding just because you told the child once or even 10 times.

· Hold your child. Provide comfort. Touching is important for children during this period. Close contact helps assure children that you are there and will not abandon them.

· Spend extra time putting your child to bed. Talk and offer assurance. Leave a night-light on if that makes the child feel more secure.

· Observe your child at play. Listen to what is said and how the child plays. Children frequently express feelings of fear or anger while playing with dolls, trucks or friends after a disaster.

· Provide play experiences to relieve tension. Work with play dough or paint, play in water, etc. If children show a need to hit or kick, give them something safe like a pillow, ball or balloon. Allow a safe, open space for them to play if possible.

· If your child lost a meaningful toy or blanket, allow the child to mourn and grieve (by crying, perhaps). It is all part of helping the young child cope with feelings about the disaster. In time, it may be helpful to replace the lost object.

If you are still recovering from the powerful May 4 tornados and storms it is likely you are also still experiencing stress from the experience according to Jinny Hopp, human development specialist, University of Missouri Extension.

Stress after the storm can result in any of these problems: fatigue, difficulty concentrating, guilt, sleep disturbances, difficulty solving problems, feelings of helplessness, sense of hopelessness, lowered attention span, headaches and anger or irritability.

These are all very normal reactions to a stressful event according to Hopp. The key is to deal with these feelings.

“Your mind and body need to recognize the feelings and find healthy ways to use them in the healing process. The key ingredient in healing is to connect with people you trust to express your loss and to make plans for the future,” said Hopp.

According to Hopp, here are some things homeowners, families, parents and children can do during the recovery process.

The paperwork required to replace lost “things” and income can be overwhelming. Hopp says it is essential that storm victims not be rushed into hasty decisions.

“You are being asked to make decisions, which can affect your life for years to come. Get help from the agencies who need the papers filled out, trained volunteers, or your local financial advisers. Take your time to talk with people you trust about what you need to do,” said Hopp.

A good resource for information is http://missourifamilies.org. Topics at the Missouri Families web site range from concerns about children to money matters.

Another available resource is ParentLink, an extension program that exists to provide information to help Missouri's parents provide safe, healthy and nurturing environments for their children. For more information, call ParentLink between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m., at 1-800-552-8522.