None of us can keep bad things from happing to those we love. But it can be especially painful when a grandchild is suffering. When someone they love dies, parents divorce, or a parent is addicted to drugs, abusive or even in jail, it's natural for kids to feel abandoned and to grieve.

     Children often struggle with the loss of a parent through death or abandonment. They don’t know what to do about their pain, They miss that person and worry about who will take care of them. Grandparents can often be their solid ground. Since children react differently than adults, it’s important to understand what is normal and what is not.

It is normal for kids to:

     Children grieve differently than adults. They show grief but can only focus on that sadness for short periods of time. This is the mind’s way of keeping them from overload.

     While infants don’t understand death, they sense the emotional tension in the family. Preschoolers often see death as a kind of sleep and believe the person will come back. By age six,
children understand about death but often worry most about their own death. Teenagers look like adults, but they are still children at heart. They need extra support and
understanding. Because of the immaturity of their brain and emotions, it may take children a long time to mourn.

Here are some tips for helping a grieving grandchild:

†Talk with them in a calm, quiet manner. Answer questions honestly.

†Remember to be patient. You may have to answer the same question over and over until the child can wrap his/her mind around the answer.

†Try and share your feelings with the child. Drawing pictures, writing stories and playing with dolls can help kids cope.

† Help the child remember the person who is gone. Picture albums and stories of happier times can help.