Search news

Holiday memories come from traditions, not gifts

MU Extension specialist offers tips for parents

Media contact:

Eileen Yager
Editor
University of Missouri Cooperative Media Group
Phone: 573-882-0604
E-Mail: yagere@umsystem.edu

Published: Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Story source:

Sherry Nelson, 573-769-2177

COLUMBIA, Mo. – People are paying more for groceries, gas and other necessities, and many families are rethinking their holiday gift giving this year.

Now is the time to start having those discussions, according to Sherry Nelson, a University of Missouri Extension human development specialist.

“People need to decide how much they can afford to spend and be sure they stick to that budget,” Nelson said. This avoids the “January surprise” of a hefty credit card bill after the holidays.

Financial planning experts often suggest that people spend no more than 1.5 percent of their annual income on holiday gifts, decorating and entertaining. But Nelson said there is nothing wrong with spending less.

“Parents need to get away from the guilt of what they spend or don’t spend,” she said. “We as parents are teaching our kids about the meaning of holidays.”

Nelson suggests parents look back at their own childhood memories. “You probably don’t remember how many gifts you got, but maybe one special gift,” Nelson said. “More likely, it was what you did during the holidays and the traditions your family had.”

After parents set a budget for the holidays, Nelson suggests holding a family meeting to help refocus the holiday on relationships rather than gifts. She recommends talking not only about how much money the family will spend but also how the family will spend its time during the holidays.

It’s a great time, Nelson said, to start some new traditions, such as helping a charity or preparing special foods.

“Parents should be prepared to throw out some ideas to get the conversation started,” she said.

For families that are really struggling, Nelson recommends making a budget and having that family meeting earlier, before the holiday advertising season reaches full swing.

Individual meetings may be necessary if children in the household are different ages, Nelson said.

Children 6 and under are not going to know what things cost or count the number of gifts they receive, so whatever a family can afford will be enough, she said.

From ages 7 or 8 and older, children may be a little disappointed if they get less than last year, but they can understand the basic concept of a change in the family’s financial situation.

“Parents should feel more comfortable being open about the need to change what we do for the holidays, including gifts and spending,” Nelson said.

In fact, teens may have their own ideas about gifts and be willing to share in the cost of a more expensive gift, she said.

Nelson also recommends people have similar conversations with others in their gift-giving circle. It’s likely they are looking for ways to cut back their spending as well, she said.

“Parents can look at this as an opportunity to refocus holiday time on relationships,” she said. “Time spent with our kids is really more important than spending money.”

###