Parent Teaches Character Counts! at Home
Michelle Klem, 4-H Youth Education Assistant and mother of three children
Many times the side benefits of a job far outweigh the monetary gain. In my job as 4-H Youth Education Assistant, this is often the case. Our training in the latest research on youth development makes me a better person, and most importantly, a better parent.
One of the most beneficial 4-H programs is Character Counts! which works to fortify the lives of America’s youth with ethical values called the "Six Pillars of Character." These values are:
- respect
- trustworthiness
- responsibility
- fairness
- caring
- citizenship
My Character Counts! training, has taught me to be more introspective, to watch myself and how I model character to my children. We all try to be good parents, but what messages do we inadvertently send? In the grocery store, if you receive incorrect change, do you call it to the clerk’s attention – even if the error is in your favor? Maybe before Character Counts!, I wouldn’t have, but you can bet I do now. I use these opportunities as examples for my children to follow in the future.
In our home, we use the pillars
of character to attach familiar terms to appropriate (and inappropriate!) behavior.
My own children have a firm understanding of each of the six pillars of character. They
have been exposed to Character Counts! in a variety of ways. The Children’s Book of Virtues and The Children’s
Book of Heroes are full of great short stories from mythology, history, folklore, etc.
that exemplify acts of character. Kids for Character and Choices Counts
are PBS videos that children find engaging and easily memorized. We use a system of
rewards/privileges for acts of good character in our home. Completion of chores
results in allowance, acts of good character result in points (and of course,
verbal praise!). I don’t feel good character should be tied to monetary rewards, so,
the points, when accumulated, result in a special privilege. It may be choosing a place to
eat out, going bowling, having a sleepover, etc.
We may be hesitant to teach "values" because we are not perfect. Don't ever stop trying, because children will learn from us one way or another. How do we instill these values in our children? Michael Josephson’s A Parent Guide to Building Character says "Think T.E.A.M."
- Teach your children that character does count;
- Enforce good behavior and the consequences of bad behavior;
- Advocate and expect good character from your children--- don’t be neutral about the importance of character, or casual about improper conduct; and
- Model your good character. Hold yourself to the highest standards, and when you slip, act the way you expect your children to act---be accountable, apologize sincerely, and resolve to do better.
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Nancy Flood, floodn@missouri.edu Consumer & Family Economics Specialist Putnam County University Outreach and Extension Center Last Update: May 23, 2001 |