| A counselor is one who
works with others to help them accomplish what they want to achieve.
You may have these children for only a few hours or a few days--what
can you do in such a short time?.
They come to you as total strangers. About the second day, you
feel you are getting to know them rather well, then they leave
the next day! So what can you do?
Rather than be a counselor in the professional sense of the term,
you become an adult friend who understands and still loves. You
can help a little toward that camper’s understanding of himself
or herself and his relationship to others.
Let’s see what the camper would appreciate in your “counseling” service
to him or her.
- BUILD A RELATIONSHIP.
With seven to ten campers or more in a cabin group, this is not
easy. Try to learn their names before they come, and call them
by name the first day. Make opportunities to help each one, to
talk to each one, to listen to each one.
Avoid the temptation to socialize with your peer group (other staff). Instead,
use the snack time or free time to get next to a camper.
Play with them in the pool or on the playfield. Take time to teach them a
skill: throwing a Frisbee, coiling a rope, drawing a picture, or hitting
a ball. In these and other ways, invest your life in theirs. Let them teach
you!
- Seek to UNDERSTAND
YOUR CAMPERS. Do you know their age group characteristics?
Get to know the individual camper by listening and observing
carefully.
Remember, all behavior has significance. Every word the child speaks and
every action he does will tell you something about him. Casually ask about
family, school, pets, friends, and interests, but make careful mental notes
on his answers. There will be some things the camper will not want to talk
about--don't pry! Respect their boundaries. Find things THEY want to talk
about. Never, never, never gossip with other campers or counselors about
what you learn. That will destroy a growing relationship between you and
the camper more quickly than anything else--and it can't likely be repaired!
- SET A GOAL to
observe each child at least three times a day. The better you
know a child, the more intelligently you can help him.
- At least once during
each day, MAKE TIME TO TALK to each child personally
and privately. Ask them about school, T.V. shows they like to
watch, hobbies they may have, sports they like, etc.
- Eight Specific
Times to “Make Friends” with your Camper
Work on using these eight times effectively:
- free time,
- snack time,
- swim time, (by
the side of the pool or on the beach),
- walking to or
from the cabin,
- during cabin
cleanup time,
- when a question
is asked,
- when a child
stays back or lags behind, or
- when there is
a fight between two campers.
For example, a fight is a marvelous opportunity to really talk because the
camper’s “good guy” image is dropped and his real self
is exposed. When two campers get in a fight (verbal or otherwise), you have
a golden opportunity to take each one aside ALONE and talk to him. The argument
itself is the only the springboard from which to dive into the real problems
and for getting to know your campers.
- When questions are
asked, are you ready to take advantage of that situation? Above
all, BE AVAILABLE, always ready to listen and
to take time when it is important to the camper.
- BE A GOOD LISTENER.
Adults just don’t have time for children. Few adults every
really listen to children. Children (and teens) pick this up
and read it as a non-caring attitude.
You can make this camper
someone super special just by giving him (or her) your undivided
attention. Someone once said that we should relate (that includes
listening) to every other person as if he/she were the most important
person in the world.
Be aware that listening
well has a natural pitfall. It is easy to become emotionally involved
in a camper’s problems and on the basis of that involvement,
begin to take over and give advice. You may find that while you feel
good, the camper has been silenced.
Word spreads to the other
campers, and they quickly learn to say as little to you as possible.
You then assume that everything is going well.
How much better it would
have been for you to say nothing until you fully understood what
the camper wanted to share with you.
- GET TO KNOW each
camper. With a full schedule, this is not always that easy. You
want to become acquainted with each one and win his confidence.
You want to know each one PERSONALLY, as an
individual – home background, interest, experiences, church
background, etc. You will get to know them by watching all their
behavior. Everything they do has significance.
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