HELP CHILDREN WITH FAMILY CHANGES

·        Reassure your children that they did not cause the problem.

·        Reassure your children that both parents love them.

·        Reassure your children that both parents will continue to take care of them.

·        Reassure your children that it's okay to love both parents.

·        Reassure your children that you trust their abilities to adapt to family changes.

·        Maintain a daily routine schedule with your children.

·        Be honest to let children know about the changes that will affect them and discuss the change with them.

·        Give your children time to digest the information, ask questions, and share their concerns.

·        Allow your children time to grieve the loss.  Let them know it is okay to cry, feel upset, or be silent. Be sure to show your love and care by hugging them.

·        Try to control your anger, especially when your children show their anger toward you.

·        Encourage children to share their feelings and concerns. Let them know when they feel like talking, you are available to listen and answer their questions.

·        Make the changes in your children's lives slowly.

·        Don't ask children to take sides.

·        Support your children's visit with the other parent.

·        Encourage your young children to draw pictures to express their feelings.

·        Reading stories about separation or family changes together can help children share their feelings and concerns and lead to further discussion.

·        Encourage your children to continue to participate in school activities and pursue their interests.

·        Inform your children's teachers and babysitters about the change. This may help your children deal with behavioral changes in the future.

Developed by Nina Chen, Ph.D.,  Human Development Specialist, University of Missouri Outreach and Extension.

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