Jackson
County
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Nina
Chen, Ph.D.
Human Development Specialist
A comprehensive review of
recent research reported in “Should We Live Together?” by David
Popenoe and Barbara Whitehead (January 1999) found that cohabitation is
likely to weaken marriage, contribute to marital failure, and hurt
children and women.
In 1960 the total number
of unmarried couples in American was less than half a million, but it
jumped to 4 million by 1997. The number of children under eighteen living
in cohabiting unions increased from 21% in 1987 to 36% in 1997.
Cohabitation is more common among people who don’t have religious
beliefs, from broken homes, or from the lower classes.
Cohabitation is also common among Blacks, Puerto Ricans, and
disadvantaged white women. Some studies also show that the rise of
feminism may be one of the reasons affecting the growth of cohabitation.
Cohabitation is not a new
concept for today’s young adults. They
view living together before marriage as a good way to avoid the risk of
divorce. In recent national
surveys, about 60% of high school seniors agreed or mostly agreed that
“it is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting
married in order to find out whether they really get along.” And about
75% of the students thought cohabitation is for people to “experiment
with a worthwhile alternative lifestyle” or “doing their own thing and
not affecting anyone else.”
According to surveys, the
majority of young people favor cohabitation. Cohabitation can help couples
share expenses and experiment with what it is like to be married.
If things don’t work out, couples don’t have to deal with legal
or religious permission to dissolve their union. But, is it worthwhile to
live together before marriage?
The report by Popenoe and
Whitehead indicated that cohabitation “is not a good way to prepare for
marriage or to avoid divorce.” Cohabiting unions do not show a
positive family and have a tendency to weaken the institution of marriage
and be harmful to women and children. Unmarried cohabiting couples feel
less happy than married couples. Popenoe and Whitehead gave some
suggestions to help young people seek long-lasting marriage:
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Don’t consider living together before marriage.
Cohabitation can be harmful for marriage.
There is no evidence that people living together before marriage
will have better marriages than people who don’t live together. However,
research shows that cohabiting couples tend to break up after marriage.
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Don’t make a habit of cohabitation. Avoid multiple living
together experiences. The
cohabiting relationships do not teach people to have better relationships
and establish a strong lifelong partnership. Try to limit cohabitation
opportunities. The longer
cohabiting relationships people have, the more likely they have lower
commitment to marriage.
? Don’t cohabit if kids are involved. Research indicates that cohabiting parents break up more often than married parents. Children who live in cohabiting unions are more likely to experience sexual abuse or physical violence than children living with married parents. Remember, children need to be in a nurturing and stable environment in which their parents are committed to their family and staying together.
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University of Missouri Extension Jackson County Jacksonblsp@missouri.edu Updated 12/13/06 |
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