Use More Do's Than Don'ts
In order to learn self-control, children have to learn what to do, not just what not to do. Does a demand like, "Don't hit," teach children? They know what the adult dislikes. Unfortunately, such a statement does not teach them what to do when they are upset. "Do-nots" are like red traffic lights. It is difficult to travel when all you have are red lights in front of you. "Do's" are the green lights. They tell us when and where it is safe to go.
Can you change the following No's into Do's?
In a typical hour with your child, how many times do you respond negatively to the child's undesirable behaviors? If you had a counter in your pocket, how many times would click it? In the same hour, how many times would you respond positively? Consider these two numbers. To foster a good relationship with our children, we want to increase the Do's and decrease the Do-nots ratio.