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My stepson and his girlfriend had a child. I'm very close to this 19-month-old grandson. He was born here and lived with me until six months ago when his parents split up. The mother moved to another state with her family. She says I can have my grandson visit for a few weeks at a time.
My stepson is 19 years old. He is a hot tempered, control freak and totally obsessed with the girl. He says if I get my grandson, he will take the boy and nobody will ever see him.
No custody has ever been set up in the courts. Can my stepson stop me from having visits? Can he legally come and take my grandson from me?
I can give you some information about this issue, but I am not a legal expert or an attorney, so I can't give you legal advice. I recommend contacting an attorney about this matter.
Grandparents can obtain legal rights to the child by requesting legal visitation, custody, or guardianship.
Grandparents are only granted visitation, custody, or guardianship in certain situations. See the Grandparent Rights section of the Senior Citizens Handbook on the Missouri Bar Web site for more information.
Your local Area Agency on Aging may also be able to help you.
If you need help finding an attorney
Kim Leon
Assistant Professor and State Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
How can I show I attended a Focus on Kids program?
You can get the documentation you need by calling the local court office where you completed the class. They are the ones who handle the registration and keep track of who attends each class.
Dolores Shearon
MU Extension
My mother was emotionally abusive to me growing up. My father, an alcoholic, is very controlling. They are divorced. I haven't talked to my mother for about seven years. I have been married for six years and have two children. My father sees my children about twice a month. He keeps trying to get me to contact my mother. I am afraid he wants to help her obtain visitation rights to my children. What is the likelihood of this happening?
There is information on the Missouri Bar Web site about the circumstances in which grandparents are granted visitation
You may also wish to consult an attorney for an answer with regards to your specific situation.
If you need help finding an attorney
It sounds like you have some difficult family issues to deal with and talking about them with a counselor may help you decide how you want to handle this situation. You can locate counseling in your area by searching the Community Connection Web site or contacting your local extension office for a referral.
Kim Leon
Assistant Professor and State Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
Is 4-years-old too young for the drawing activities mentioned in GH6602,
Activities for Helping Children Deal with Divorce? Do
you have any advise or information that would apply to a 4-year-old when
only one parent wants the divorce?
I think that drawing in general is a very useful way for young children to express their feelings. Some of the specific activities described on the site may be too difficult for most 4-year-olds, but drawing pictures of their family and homes would be appropriate for most 4-year-olds. You may want to talk with the child about the drawing to get more information. Children are more likely to talk about their drawing if you ask about the characters in the drawing ("How does he/she feel?" "What would he/she like to say to his/her mom/dad?") or comment on aspects of the picture ("This part of the picture has lots of colors, but this part doesn't have many colors") than if you ask direct "why" questions ("Why did you draw ______?").
Regardless of the specific divorce situation or the child's age, the most important thing that children need is a supportive relationship with at least one parent. Other things that help children adjust to divorce are: an ongoing, supportive relationship with their nonresidential parent, their parents' adjustment to the divorce, and having sufficient economic resources. What this means is that divorcing parents can best help their child by giving their child lots of love and affection, providing consistent rules and positive discipline, keeping predictable routines, staying involved in their child's life, providing child support, and taking care of their own mental and physical health.
Some resources for further information:
Kim Leon
Assistant Professor and State Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
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Updated 5/19/08