Fall 2005
Vol. 7, No.
4
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Fall 2005 |
Creating
family traditions
As
we each think back to childhood memories, I’m sure everyone remembers some
special event, tradition, or ritual that seemed to bond our families together.
For me, there are many, but one that always pops into my head during the summer
vacation season is the miniature golf our family played wherever we went.
I can still remember the years when my daughters could barely hold a golf club,
as well as the times when they could “beat” both their father and me. The girls
are grown now, but they still talk about all the different miniature golf
courses we visited and what fun we had!
Family traditions are generally repeated over and over again.
Children especially find comfort in knowing something they enjoy will most
certainly happen again. A tradition is a tool that helps us build strong,
healthy families, and makes sure we do things we truly value.
Traditions can evoke memories that lead to good feelings
connected to those things—Grandma’s special apple pie at Thanksgiving, or 4th of
July fireworks at Grandpa and Grandma’s farm. Since traditions often involve
celebrations or holidays, they often give us a chance to maintain connections
with family and special friends.
A very important aspect of traditions is that they help us create a family
history that may be passed on through generations. Family photos of us doing the
same thing year after year can help us and our children feel connected to the
generations who came before us. Family rituals give us a great chance to teach
family
values and define what our family means. So many lessons are learned from simple
activities that include discussion in a relaxed, happy atmosphere.
In addition, traditions and rituals are a great way to bring
generations together. Everyone can contribute something to create precious
memories, whether it is stories about the past from older family members or
wonder, excitement and joy from the younger set. Traditions can help us “pause”
amidst all the hectic, busy times of our lives because these events are often
planned and scheduled. Traditions are frequently associated with holidays, but
opportunities exist for events all year long.
I quizzed some friends about their traditions. I’d like to
share with you a few of their ideas and my own. Then you can think about what
traditions you already have or new ones you might like to try:
Use a “Red Plate” to observe
“special” occasions. This is a bright, red plate with white lettering along
the edge that says, “YOU ARE SPECIAL TODAY.” The plate can be bought at a
gift store or hand painted. It can be used at a meal for a special guest, a
special celebration, or even for someone who has suffered a disappointment.
It is a visible way to show support, encouragement and love.
“At meals, we pray while holding
hands around the table. It reminds me to be thankful for my family every
day.” (Paula S.)
“Every year, on the first day of
school, my husband took a picture of the kids. Even though they might have
grumbled about it, they can now laugh at how they used to look and see how
much they changed from year to year.” (Donna R.)
“Sunday was always the day when
my father cooked a big breakfast. Normally he worked long days and didn’t
have much time to share meals with us. We all enjoyed sitting at the table
and sharing stories about the week.” (Willa H.)
“Our family started keeping a family journal several years ago. There is no regular time that anyone writes in it, just when they choose to do so. They may write about a happy day, a special meal, or whatever they choose. It sits on a shelf where anyone can read it and becomes a sort of history of that year. We buy a new journal each year.” (Bonnie P.)
After my children were born, I
started buying them a dated keepsake ornament each year at Christmas. They were
lovingly placed on the tree. As each child got married, I gave each their
collection as a starting point for their new tree and as a way to remember past
holidays. You could adapt this custom to your own holiday traditions, such as
Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.
Maudie Kelly, MS
Human Development Specialist
KellyME@missouri.edu
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Editor: Roxanne T. Miller MillerRT@missouri.edu |
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