Winter 2008 Volume 5, Number 1

Support Groups Benefit Relatives as Parents

Teresa L. Mareschal, M.A.T.
Human Development Specialist
University of Missouri Extension
636-970-3000
mareschalt@missouri.edu

Across the United States, more and more children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In Missouri, there are more than 30,000 children living in households headed by grandparents or other relatives without either parent present. As the children's parents struggle with substance abuse, mental illness, incarceration, economic hardship, divorce, domestic violence, and other challenges, these caregivers provide a vital safety net to the children in their care.

One of the most important resources to the adults who care for these children is a support group. Support groups function as “extended families.” Groups offer emotional support and advice on how to deal with common problems. Members can discuss their problems without
embarrassment, give support and encouragement to each other, share coping strategies, release feelings such as anger and guilt, make new friends, and help deal with feelings of social isolation.

Relatives acting as parents live with hectic schedules that can sap their energy. They must also deal with guilt and resentment – their own, their children’s, and/or their relative children’s. While their friends are taking trips, going out to dinner or seeing a movie, they’re trapped at home. The added responsibility of raising relative children often leaves these adults emotionally and financially strained.

In response to the many pressures these parents face, support groups have been developed across the nation to offer help and coping strategies for the many challenges of raising relative children. The goal of a support group is to create a warm, non-judgmental environment where members can share information and discuss concerns.

A support group is a fallout shelter, a place for people to come together when everything seems to be exploding around them. It helps to overcome feelings of loneliness and isolation. The people there understand what you are going through because they have been in the same situation, or face the same problems. Members of a support group can also be a source of information on community resources for the issues a family may be facing. Raising relative children can be challenging. But it can also be rewarding. Support groups can help relative parents meet the challenges they face and celebrate the triumphs and rewards too.

Information for this article was adapted in part from the AARP Missouri Fact Sheet and the Grandparents as Parents: Support groups ease the journey newsletter from the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.