Spring 2008 Volume 5, Number 2

Kids and Emotions

Elizabeth Reinsch, Ph.D. CSW, ACSW
Human Development Specialist
University of Missouri Extension
314-615-7605
reinschE@missouri.edu
 

Jealousy
Children, like all humans, regardless of age have feelings and emotions. As we grow so grows the emotions. We, as parent, relatives acting as parents or grandparents need to help our children learn how to deal with various emotions they will experience throughout life.

Emotional traditions tend to be passed down from generation to generation. This can be seen in family patterns, or how a family deals with or handles emotions. Jealousy is one emotion that can be inherited. It has both negative and positive aspects. If this emotion is blocked or not released it has the power to keep us in the past. If kept in the past the child will focus only on the ‘if onlys’. What is needed is to look toward the next time or future.

As adults, we need first to look at ourselves. If our attention is focused on what others are doing or getting, the child will also learn to look at and want what others are doing and getting. If we are born to compare, our income, material things, intelligence, amount of attention from family members, so too will the child learn to compare.

Comparison can be either good or bad. Good if it motivates us to advance and achieve, bad if it ends in unresolved jealousy. Do you believe life happens to you? Or do you believe you have no control on what happens to you? Children will pick up on either belief which could lead the child to develop jealous tendencies.

We as parents, grandparents, relatives as parents, need to observe these tendencies in ourselves, reflect on them and then take time to discuss this with the children in our care.

Becoming aware is the first step in the transition or change in family patterns that can stop this emotion, Jealousy, from progressing from generation to generation.