.November 2001

 

Leaving Your Family With Peace of Mind
Jamie H. Thompson, thompsonja@missouri.edu

Today, more and more people plan their funerals in advance. Death has always been an uncomfortable topic of discussion in our society. We do think about it though—many of us have very definite ideas about our funeral and burial.

Preplanning gives us peace of mind that our wishes will be carried out. Our family has the peace of mind knowing just what we wanted and are not confronted with the many decisions that must be made at our death. Difficult decisions that are often made under emotional duress.

What kind of funeral should it be? What funeral provider should you use? Should you bury or cremate the body, or donate it to science? What other arrangements should you plan? And, how much is it all going to cost?

On average, a traditional funeral (including a casket and vault) costs between $6,000 and $7,000. “Extras” such as flowers, obituary notices, acknowledgement cards, or limousines may add thousands of dollars to the cost. Funerals may run well over $10,000 in final costs.

Another important consideration when preplanning a funeral is where the remains will be buried, entombed, or scattered. If your decision is to be cremated, you must make it known whether you wish your ashes to be scattered, and where, or placed in an urn and interred. Without preplanning, family members often find themselves rushing to buy a cemetery plot or grave. Many times the purchase is made without personally visiting the site.

It is important to specify the type of service or ceremony you do or do not wish to have at your funeral—even if your feelings are not particularly strong on this matter. If you are affiliated with a religious institution, you may want to go as far as specifying the ritual, providing a listing of songs or prayers, and naming a priest, pastor, or rabbi to conduct the service. Be specific—open-casket visitation and traditional service, or no viewing, cremation, and simple service.

Very often people will write their own death notices and/or obituaries and include them in their instructions to their family. Taking this step will also lighten the burden on family members who will need to provide this information to the appropriate newspaper.

Put in writing exactly what you want. These decisions are yours—be as specific as you wish to be. This is an entirely personal choice. Unless you state your intentions in writing, the burden will fall on your family to guess what you would have wanted.

By thinking ahead and preplanning, you make the informed and thoughtful decisions about your funeral. It allows you to choose the specific items you want and need. Preplanning also allows you to compare the prices offered by several funeral providers.

In preplanning your funeral, you can make arrangements directly with a funeral establishment or through a funeral planning or memorial society, which is a nonprofit organization that provides information about funerals and disposition but doesn't offer funeral services. If you choose to contact such a group, realize that while some funeral homes may include the word "society" in their names, they are not nonprofit organizations.

Sources:

Federal Trade Commission www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/services/funeral.htm

Berry, D. B. (1999). The Estate Planning Sourcebook. Lowell House, Chicago