October 2000 October 2000
Will Boomers Make Grandparenting Cool?
Art Schneider, schneidera@missouri.eduHard to believe, but the generation that defined youth - that embraced and obsessed over it--is now becoming grandparents. Baby boomers in their late 40’s and early 50’s who are grandparents or expectant grandparents are the focus of a lot of attention these days because they are the beginning of a major trend.
Those tiny feet are multiplying into a resounding beat as more and more of our kids are having kids. By 2005, according to the National Institute on Aging, there will be an estimated 80 million grandparents - and, says American Demographics, nearly half will be baby boomers.
Boomers are entering grandparenthood in a world far different from what our grandmas and grandpas faced at this stage of life.
We’ve seen how downsizing, drugs and divorce have stressed families.
Support systems that we took for granted when we were growing up - school, church, neighbors and extended family - are less effective in helping parents raise their children.
At the turn of the 21st century, we boomers are in our prime, earning good money, enjoying good health, we’re the best educated, most active and youngest older generation ever.
Many of us are feeling the strain of being pulled in different directions. Our adult children need us, our spouses need us, our friends need us and our employers need us. For the first time in history, a generation of grandparents will be caring for their parents. And, millions of boomers will have to help raise their grandchildren because of economic or other problems of their adult children.
Although critics claim boomers aren’t, or won’t be, interested in "being there" for their grandkids, most studies indicate that even those who cherish their independence want to spend as much time as possible with their grandchildren.
The need for long-distance grandparenting will make this harder for many people, but smaller families with fewer grandchildren and the use of new technology will help make it possible.
Experts such as psychologist Perry Buffington think that boomers will want to be involved grandparents as a way to make up for the fact that we didn’t spend as much time as we wanted to - or feel we should have - with our own kids. Being a grandparent is another chance to get it right. Others feel that this will happen because boomers are rediscovering their ideals and that, if we haven’t already, we will embrace many of the same values that we trashed in our youth.
What kind of interaction will boomers have with their children and grandchildren? The activist side of us "could translate into overly active grandparents, more than perhaps our adult children would like," comments human development professor Peter Martin. "The boomer generation won’t be surprised to see boomer grandparents a bit to bossy…about how the grandchildren are raised."
We’ll have to wait to see whether these predictions come true. But, it is certainly clear that, at the least, boomers will raise the consciousness of society regarding the important role grandparents’ play.
"The boomers are not a passive generation," says Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, founder of the foundation for Grandparenting. "They are going to say, ‘I want to explore this new stage of life’."
Boomers have a reputation for a certain amount of arrogance, so don’t be surprised if the boomer generation rages against age and tries to make grandparenting cool.
Source: Adopted from the Nanas and Papas: A Boomers Guide to Grandparenting (Andrews McMeel Publishing). The authors are journalists and active boomer grandparents.
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