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I have always
liked morning….the early quiet, a few moments to read the paper and
drink a glass of juice. But for many families, mornings are the
“crazy zone,” a time not unlike the twilight zone. For those with
school-age children, mornings can be more than crazy; they can
become a battle zone. The conflict is inevitable: parents need to
be on time, children hate to be rushed, and young children have no
sense of time! The problems of running on a tight schedule are
obvious.
As school
starts, a little creativity and advance planning can go a long way.
Here are some strategies to consider in the next, few weeks before
you gear up for the beginning of school.
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Be an early bird.
Get started before everyone else. Grab those few minutes of
peace for yourself or use them to prepare for the morning
routine.
-
Say what needs
doing in one word. For example, try saying “teeth”
instead of “I told you to brush your teeth.”
-
Use the senses of
sight, sound and touch. Establish eye contact and
put an arm around your child to get his attention, so you only
have to say it once. Most children do not function in a high
gear in the morning.
-
Reduce
distractions. Turn off the TV, have your child dress
in her own room, and try to limit her interaction with other
siblings in the morning. This can save time and conflict!
-
Switch roles with
the other parent. If possible, trade off the
responsibility for getting kids out the door.
-
Avoid asking
questions to which the answer could be “NO.” Don’t
ask your child if he is ready to get up, or ready for
breakfast. Tell him firmly but pleasantly that it is time to
get up or that breakfast is ready.
-
Keep your
explanations short and sweet. Don’t tell kids why you
have to be on time, just tell them when to be in the car--most
of the time they don’t care anyway.
-
Use the
“When-then” approach. When you are dressed,
then you will have time to play on the computer.
-
Offer only two
choices to young children. It is overwhelming to
give them too many possibilities. For example, ask them if they
want toast or cereal.
-
Help younger
children get dressed occasionally, even though they can do it
themselves. Try this approach. “I’ll put on your
left shoe if you put on your right. We can go faster
together."
-
Step away for a
few minutes when you can sense a power struggle brewing.
Learn to walk away and do something else that needs doing, and
then return with a positive attitude or a distraction for the
child.
-
Give verbal
updates about the time and what’s left to do. One
father found that a timer was helpful. “When the timer rings,
the TV has to be turned off and your jacket on or you can’t
watch TV in the morning.”
-
Decide in advance
for a regular place for the morning “stuff.” Have a
regular place for hats, shoes, lunchboxes, backpacks, keys,
etc. It will cut down on the stress of trying to find them at
the last minute.
Last but not
least, send them off to college! You won’t have to get up early,
prepare yourself for the hassle, give one word suggestions, limit
choices, or walk away from a power struggle. All you have to worry
about is when they will call home, overdraw their bank account,
wreck their car, lose their cell phone, or come home to see you!
Mornings, I enjoy them now, but believe it or not, there are times
that I wish for the good old days!
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