I Can be a Good Parent No Matter What My Past
The past has a strong influence on our behavior. For example, if violence was a daily part of our childhood, we may be at risk of using violence with our own children. But such influence never removes the freedom of choice to act differently. The past can exert pressure, and can certainly provide us with a reason for our actions. Our beliefs about the past, not the events themselves, trap us. Freedom of choice is woven into the fabric of our humanity. How we choose to react to our experience of childhood is up to us.
Some parents believe they are trapped by the past. They might say things like, "My parents spanked me so I spank," or "I cannot be tender and affectionate because my parents never really showed love to me." Is it true that our past causes what we do now? Think about what you believe about this. How do we break away from the influence of the past?
Some parents believe they have to be perfect to be good parents. Of course, this is not possible. We all make mistakes. As parents who are trying to do our best for our children we must deal with our mistakes in an appropriate manner, and recognize and accept the fact that we are not perfect.