Non-Violent Methods Teach Self-Control
The effectiveness of our discipline has to be judged by what our children learn. Violent behavior can be physical or psychological. It can involve spanking, slapping, ridicule, or sarcasm. Violent parental practices may achieve immediate results. Nevertheless, responding violently can have three unfortunate long-term outcomes. First, the child's fear and anger undermines the value of the parent as a teacher. Second, the child's own self-respect can be eroded. This undermines the child's school performance and peer relationships. Third, violent parental practices invite children to be violent with other children. Violence teaches violence.
Think back to your childhood and memories of discipline. What kinds of discipline did you experience? What effect did this have on you? What did you learn? As a parent, what experiences do you want to repeat with your own children? What would you like to avoid if you can? What do you to do to make this happen?
Think of something your child did recently that was frustrating for you. Consider the whole situation when your child did this. What was the child doing beforehand? What was the time of day? Who else was present? How was the child feeling? Now go through these steps:
How do you typically use consequences when responding to your child's misbehavior? For a consequence to work, it has to allow the child to use the experience to stop him or herself from misbehaving in the future.